First World Problems

I have a good friend who used to work in loss prevention for a big electronics store. His job was to watch security monitors and catch shoplifters, and many times, he would spot pimply-faced teens padding themselves with CDs and video games and sketchy-looking older people helping themselves to mp3 players and digital cameras. People can be very bold when it comes to robbing from the rich corporations and giving to themselves.

That being said, I have spent too much precious time peeling stickers off DVDs and CDs, and I have cut my hands up trying to open unforgiving plastic packaging at home. I've had to use knives, scissors, and letter openers to battle merciless plastic.

Stores should figure out how to implement new theft devices (like ink or electronic tags that are put on clothing and taken off at the time of purchase). I would enjoy it if stores offered to remove packaging for you. I am not kidding. There should be little kiosks by exits where employees bravely take on the task of taking off packaging.

Many people consider shopping a joy, but there are some things that take the fun out of retail therapy. Mall parking, for instance. Fights over limited parking spaces can cause bloodbaths.

Something that really makes shopping unenjoyable for me is having a maximum number of items I can take into a fitting room. It's tolerable if it's possible to hang the extra clothes on the outside of your door and switch them out with ones you've finished trying on. If you're not able to do this, trying on clothes becomes a competitive sport because you're forced to relinquish your items to a common rack.

You have to try on the first set of items, put all of your own clothing back on, leave your purse vulnerable on its little hook (to signify that the fitting room is taken) and rush over to your other possibilities. They are not safely cordoned off or looked after by fitting room attendants (they promised!) so it's likely you'll find other people rifling through your selection. Sometimes you got the last piece in your size or color you like, and your prized find is scooped up by another shopper.
Because of the danger of having your selection picked through, speed in trying things on is crucial, as is repeatedly poking your head out of your fitting room to check on the rifling situation. Because of this speed and distraction, assessment time is cut short. All you have to go on is, "Well, I guess this doesn't make me look like a cow or circus performer. I'll get it."

And all the while, insipid pop music streams through the store's speakers. Maybe it is time to learn how to sew.