First World Problems

"Isn't it weird for you to do that?"

When I received this question, I was not playing the piano with my feet. I was not steering a car with my elbows. I was writing with my left hand.

I turned away from the dry erase board and faced my student. He was serious.

"No, it's not weird. I'm left-handed. I just...you know...write with my left hand. No biggie."

Unconvinced, he went back to his work.

I decided to do a little research on my "condition." In 1987, the Washington Post wrote that lefties are losing their stigma and teachers are no longer forcing their left-handed students to use their right hands (http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-1328113.html). In 1988, I entered kindergarden, and my teacher promptly tried to force me to use my other hand.

While I understand that anything associated with the left (and I don't mean left-wing) is associated with being sinister and this goes back centuries, it's strange that there is still a stigma attached to being left-handed. 10% of the population is made up of south paws, and the myth that righties live longer than lefties is untrue. Lefties are not clumsy; they are just people trying to make it in a right-handed world. Also, lefties are traditionally better bloggers.

Ok, I made that last one up.

I've always been a stickler for grammar. Now I teach grammar and writing at a college in Miami, and my pickiness has gotten worse.

These are my essay pet peeves:

• starting with a question
• starting with a question directed towards the reader and then answering it
• starting with a definition (I've actually had a student write, "Do you know what a boat is? A boat is..." It was a double whammy)
• dry transitions ("First," "Second...") because some English teachers require transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph, but they don't bother to explain how to do it effectively
• when I have to explain how to use quotations, how to paraphrase, and how to cite sources...many students have NEVER had to use MLA format
• when students come in because they need help with an assignment, and they are paralyzed with fear over having to "analyze" something

I'm more annoyed with teachers than I am with the students because these kids have slipped through the cracks. I know there is a problem with overcrowded classrooms and underpaid teachers, but it's not right that there are people enrolled in college classes who can't even compose middle school level writing.