First World Problems

I've always been a stickler for grammar. Now I teach grammar and writing at a college in Miami, and my pickiness has gotten worse.

These are my essay pet peeves:

• starting with a question
• starting with a question directed towards the reader and then answering it
• starting with a definition (I've actually had a student write, "Do you know what a boat is? A boat is..." It was a double whammy)
• dry transitions ("First," "Second...") because some English teachers require transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph, but they don't bother to explain how to do it effectively
• when I have to explain how to use quotations, how to paraphrase, and how to cite sources...many students have NEVER had to use MLA format
• when students come in because they need help with an assignment, and they are paralyzed with fear over having to "analyze" something

I'm more annoyed with teachers than I am with the students because these kids have slipped through the cracks. I know there is a problem with overcrowded classrooms and underpaid teachers, but it's not right that there are people enrolled in college classes who can't even compose middle school level writing.